Some links on this site are affiliate links and I may earn a small commission to keep this site running at no cost to you. See Disclaimer and Disclosure policy for full details
I made the decision to have our children co-sleep with us the minute they came home from the hospital. Not because I subscribe to any particular parenting philosophy, but simply because that’s what my mom did with me. She was a single mom at nineteen living with her grandmother. There was limited space so she had no choice but to have me in the bed with her. We shared a bed until I was probably 7!
I have some of the best memories of snuggling with my mom and feeling safe and secure next to her. Naturally, I wanted to share a similar experience with my children. When they were infants, I didn’t have the heart to send them off to sleep in a lonely cage of a crib while I slumbered away with my husband in a queen size bed. Having them sleep next to me was comforting. I could watch the rise and fall of their chest and know that they were still breathing. When it got really quiet I could listen to the sweet thump thump of their little hearts beating. Nothing felt sweeter than their chubby little hands against my cheek.
But they are old now.
My son is six and although we put him to sleep in his own bed, most nights he sneaks into our room like a stealth ninja to sleep with us. My daughter’s once sweet, soft breathing now sounds like hyenas crying as she snores the night away. Those chubby little hands are far from gentle when they poke me in the eye. My bed is no longer safe and secure as I am assaulted with elbows, knees, and fingers on a nightly basis. Every morning I wake up dangling off the side of the bed as my daughter spreads out horizontally between my husband and I. It’s madness.
They must go!
Even though my son transitioned to his own room three years ago, something clearly isn’t working. I’ve decided to re-transition him in a more structured and planned way. Here are some tips I found useful.
- Prepare their rooms by making it cozy and reflective of their personality. My son’s room was still decked out with Pooh Bear paraphernalia when he started Kindergarten. It felt more like a nursery than a big boy room and he hated being in there. I decided to re-decorate his room with pictures of his favorite super heroes and TV characters. He asked to have family pictures on his wall which made him feel like my husband and I were watching over him. He ended up wanting to hang out in his room more and when night time came, he wasn’t so afraid to be by himself
- Let them know in advance that they will be have to sleep in their own room. This will prepare them for the upcoming change so it’s not such a shock to them. My son’s first night in his own bed was literally the night my daughter came home from the hospital. I blame it on pregnancy brain. Between working full time up until two days before delivery and running a household, figuring out my son’s sleeping arrangements totally slipped my mind. Looking back, he probably felt tossed to the side. Poor kid!
- Transition slowly. If your child still takes a nap, let them take a nap in their room. This will get them use to sleeping in their own bed. If they don’t nap, it’s still a good idea to let them have a ‘rest’ time in their room by themselves. OR Transition in one fell swoop. Dragging out the process can be overwhelming for some children. I know my daughter and based on past behavior, transitioning her a little at a time would make the process more painful. Whether you transition slowly or do it in one fell swoop is completely up to you. You know your child best.
- Celebrate them moving to their own beds and make it a big deal. Set a date and have them count down the days till the big move. You can have them draw pictures or write stories about being a big kid and sleeping in their own rooms. Consider having your child pick out their own bedding and new pajamas to celebrate the move.
- Create a night time routine. Children find security in structure and routine. Consistently following a night time routine makes it easier for children to relax and unwind. A bed time routine makes them more likely to fall asleep AND stay asleep during the night. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. In my house, our routine is Brush.Wash.Read. They brush their teeth, take a bath, and then we read a bedtime story.
- Be consistent about them sleeping in their own bed. This is the hardest part. My son wakes up at all hours with various excuses as to why he MUST sleep in my bed. But I know if I give in even for a night, he will make it a habit. Unless it is a mean thunderstorm or he is REALLY sick, he is sleeping in his own bed. Recently my son started having nightmares. We made dream catchers to trap the bad dreams so that only good dreams would stay. So far he has slept in his room for two weeks! You can find a tutorial for making a dream catcher here.
What are some tips you have for transitioning co-sleepers to their own beds? (Image:Ouef)
Crystal says
It is also important to reward them for doing a great job. If you give them all the fun new bedroom stuff up front they have little motivation. #manicmondays
Yanique Chambers says
Absolutely. Praise and rewards are great motivators.
Merlinda Little ( @pixiedusk) says
I dont have tips but this is a nice article for me. We have been co-sleeping since my son is born. Like you I dont have specific philosophy but its just how I was brought up as well and that is what I feel like doing. My son is in school now and we are planning on making him sleep in his own bed and room. So these tips are going to help us when we start! #mmwbh
Yanique Chambers says
There is just something comforting about having them close. I don’t regret having them co-sleep one bit!Good luck with transitioning your son. Thanks for stopping by!
Louise says
The dream catcher sounds like a great idea. I co-slept a lot with my eldest for her first year and she still loves to fall asleep in our bed at night or come in for snuggles if she wakes overnight. Whilst it is not always the most comfortable night, it is lovely to snuggle and know that she is okay. My youngest on the other hand has always slept better in her cot and rarely settles in our bed. Thanks for sharing some good tips for transitioning from co-sleeping – will definitely be bearing them in mind if my eldest makes those nocturnal snuggles too much of a habit! 🙂
Yanique Chambers says
It’s hard to resist them when they want to snuggle. Children definitely know how to pull at your heart strings and do just enough to melt your heart. Thanks for stopping by!
Mariet - Practicingnormal says
My first two slept in the bed with us and then they were just too many. It did help that they each had a sister to share with so did not have to sleep in their rooms alone. Good luck with the transition faze. #Brilliantblogposts.
Yanique Chambers says
It would be nice if my kids would share rooms! I asked my oldest if he would bunk with his little brother and he scoffed at the idea. It would make my life so much easier so if transitioning doesn’t work,I might have to revisit that option. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Chenoa says
Found your page on the Time For Mom link up. Great tips! We are a co-sleeping house and when it works, it’s amazing. When it does…oh boy! I look forward to checking out your site. Swing by http://www.f4family.com if you ever get some free time 🙂
Yanique Chambers says
Co-sleeping really is hit or miss. Will certainly check your site out. Thanks for stopping by!
Jenny says
This is brilliant and I need to send it to my brother and his wife! it would greatly help them. Great post. Love the photo too! lol Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme
Adventures of a Novice Mum says
Lovely to discover your blog on #WeekendBlopHop. Unfortunately, I have no tips, but this is a lovely article to pin for the parenting road. I especially like the 4th tip and the consistency point in the last tip is so vital in much of life. Thanks for a very useful post.
Yanique Chambers says
Thank you! I appreciate you stopping by 🙂
Yanique Chambers says
You are so right. Consistency is key when it comes to parenting. I don’t always find it easy to do, but it makes the world of difference. Thanks for stopping by!
K. Renae P. says
I think it’s cool you made a plan for your kids. Certainly, being transitioned to your own bed can be tough for them. But taking it slow and celebrating their success is the way to go. I’m sure you don’t want to go too slow though. Sleeping with a wild sleeper is no fun!
Yanique Chambers says
Absolutely! I’m no good to them if I don’t have enough sleep or caffeine!. Thanks for stopping by!
Becky @dempsterlogbook says
Great tips! My kids never did co-sleep but we have a 5 year old who has a horrible time staying in her own bed all night long! Glad I took the time to read the article. Stopped by from Parenting Pin It Party. https://www.pinterest.com/dempsterlogbook/
Yanique Chambers says
It’s the worst when they don’t stay asleep! Hopefully things improve with your little one. Thanks for stopping by!
Joy says
Oh my goodness I can’t stop laughing. Her soft breathing now sounds like hyenas
Yanique Chambers says
Lol! Kids…you gotta love them. Thanks for stopping by!
Helen Neale says
Hi there. Thanks for sharing this – some great ideas; and I totally agree with the gradually transition, and drip feed rewards as well. You ned to make sure you don’t give them the full shebang straight out as otherwise there is no incentive for staying..! 😉 Thanks so much for linking up to the parenting pin it party.