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Ever since Josh Duggar publicly admitted to molesting a series of girls as a teenager, much of the news coverage has been about the stain his actions put on the Duggar name. His resignation from his Executive Director position at the Family Research Council is still a trending story.
Some people are downright gleeful that the Duggars’ aren’t so perfect after all, and are celebrating their ‘fall from grace.’ Did I miss something? We are talking about a young man who molested young girls right? Who cares how it makes his family look? What about his victims?
Instead of being so shocked or disturbingly gleeful about this unfolding story, we could take the time to address the problem of families choosing not to adequately deal with sexual abuse that occurs on their watch. But why would we do that when we can focus instead on the drama of it all, asking unimportant questions like “is that why Jim Bob didn’t run for political office?”
Then there are the die-hard Duggar fans who are loyal to the point where logic and common sense seem to have escaped them completely. They see nothing wrong with making insensitive comments like, Oh, he was just a kid. Kids fool around like that all the time. He got treatment so what’s the big deal? No. No. No.
Kids might try to explore the private parts of their friends while playing doctor or even explore their own genitalia. Yes, to some degree this is normal. What is NOT normal is molesting a series of children years younger than you over a one year period.
However, the most disturbing comment I heard came from Josh Duggar’s father, Jim Bob. He expressed to People Magazine that “when Josh was a young teenager, he made some very bad mistakes, and we were shocked. We had tried to teach him right from wrong. That dark and difficult time caused us to seek God like never before.”
He speaks of what happened as if Josh was caught stealing a candy bar from a local drug store. A “very bad mistake?” Minimize much? I’m glad they found solace in God to get through the dark and difficult time THEY were having. I wonder, did the little girls Josh Duggar molested find the same peace?
Maybe someone should help Mr. Duggar understand that although they might be over their dark and difficult time, victims of molestation can spend a lifetime trying to sort through their dark and difficult time.
Some victims struggle with feelings of shame, low self-esteem, and are unable to trust again. Many succumb to depression and anxiety, ever fearful of dangers real and imagined. But good for you Josh, I’m glad you made it out OK.
I find it troubling that despite molesting multiple girls, Josh Duggar does not appear to have received any specialized treatment for juvenile sex offenders. Molestation is not the kind of behavior that one just outgrows or is solved in a few counseling sessions. Intensive treatment is required to help the offender learn strategies to prevent them from abusing others in the future.
Unfortunately, the story unfolding is not unique to the Duggars. In many cases where offenders are young, the incident of molestation is minimized and often thrown under the rug. Families choose to handle things in house and move on as if nothing happened.
I’m ever the optimist though and believe that this tragedy can lead to some good. I hope that people begin to focus on spreading awareness about the harmful effects of childhood sexual abuse and the importance of youthful sex offenders receiving proper treatment. We can turn this into a teachable moment and educate families about what they should and shouldn’t do when they learn of, or suspect that a child is being abused.
If there is one thing we can all agree on, it’s that children need to be safe. They need to be able to trust that the people in charge will protect them. We might not have been able to protect the little girls Josh Duggar molested, but we can support them and other victims of molestation by not minimizing their experiences.
Joanne says
I was never a fan of the show or them . But after hearing what he has done, I don’t think they should get exposure and air time. So wrong!
Yanique Chambers says
It blows me away Jo. I really hope that if Jim Bob continues to have his platform, that he develops a better understanding of just how harmful Josh’s behavior was.
Tee says
I just heard about this news yesterday. I agree with you that Jim Bob’s statement in People magazine definitely undermines the seriousness of Josh’s actions as a teen. We all make mistakes but what Josh admitted to is not like cutting class or egging someone’s house. Nice post, Yanique.
Yanique Chambers says
Thanks Theresa. I had to re-read the People mag article just to make sure I understood what Jim Bob was saying.
lauryn hock says
I agree with your perspective, it is insensitive for the media to be covering only the shame that his family feels!
JcCee says
This is a powerful post, Yanique! It saddens me that the light is not being shed on the issues that are created from molestation. By working in the mental health field, I have been around individuals from both ends and it is a serious matter. Child victims of molestation have to become adults and if they are not given the proper treatment, they will have to deal with it including other issues in life. It can become a bit much. Molestation should not be taken lightly.
JcCee says
This is a powerful post, Yanique! It saddens me that the light is not being shed on the issues that are created from molestation. By working in the mental health field, I have been around individuals from both ends and it is a serious matter. Child victims of molestation have to become adults and if they are not given the proper treatment, they will have to deal with it including other issues in life. It can become a bit much. Molestation should not be taken lightly.
Yanique Chambers says
Absolutely JcCee. There are some people that can’t understand that being violated in this way is not something an individual just ‘gets over.’ I really do hope the rhetoric changes and people stop making excuses for Josh Duggard.
Samantha Ford-Godette/Faithful Fashionable Diva says
Thank you for writing this. I have been disgusted by what I have been reading. Excuse after excuse. People making a mockery out of a very serious issue. He was fourteen and knew better. And the adults were not acting like adults as well. Thank you for taking this issue seriously.
Yanique Chambers says
I am still blown away by how they have attempted to trivialize the issue. Thanks for stopping by Samantha.
Valerie @ Occasionally Crafty says
All I can say is I hope he truly has changed for the sake of his children, and that his victims have found peace and healing.
Kaitie says
Well put, and well thought out. Way to look at this from another perspective.
Ronda says
Hmmmm, molestation is not something to be taken lightly. With this being said I don’t know enough of this story’s facts to comment. You have brought up some good points though…
the wheelchair mommy says
Oh my goodness. . This story has produced so many other posts and articles it’s insane. I am shocked by some of the ones my friends have shared. What he did was HORRIFIC and should not be taken lightly, no matter how long ago. A church should NEVER be allowed to handle this on their own. GRR.
Shannon Peterson says
I just read that they actually cancelled the show because of this, which I think could be good and bad. I’m sending my best wishes and hopes for a pain free future for the children that he hurt.
Jill says
A teenager molested ME. This matters.
Agatha says
Oh, I’m so angry!! I’m not aware of who these people are, but regardless of whether the Duggars are celebraties or not, the fact is molestation should not be treated lightly. In fact, isn’t it a crime? What if it had happened to their daughter instead? Would they be singing a different tune?
Hannah Nicklin says
I’ve never watched the show or heard much about it so I did Google it after seeing your post. Yet another person in the public eye to have this kind of thing revealed about them, not good. It’s such a shame and excuses need to stop.
http://www.missnicklin.co.uk/
annabelt says
I don’t know who they are either. But maybe his parents were in denial? I think it must be hard to believe your child could do that. Terrible for the others involved too.
Heather says
He committed crimes at 14 living in a home where he was repressed and where his parents obviously weren’t, having kids left and right. He has to live with this the rest of his life. Allegedly there are no repeats. All I care about is that the survivors of the molestation, including his own sisters, have healed as best they can.
I am a rape survivor and understand the trauma of being violated and I am NOT a Christian. I personally hate what the Duggars stand for and have never watched their show. I still feel that ruining this guy’s life 13 years later is wrong.
Christine - The Choosy Mommy says
I have never watched this show so I don’t really know this person but shame on him for his actions, regardless if he is a “celebrity” or not. <3 Christine, The Choosy Mommy, http://www.choosykids.blogspot.com
Jennifer Fuller says
I feel for the victims, all of this publicity is just a reminder of a part of their life I am sure they would rather not relive. I honestly don’t think that there is anything the father could have said at this point that people would not pick apart and judge. I would never want to be in his position and I certainly would not want to have to deal with a topic of this nature with all of the world watching and judging.
Yanique Chambers says
I wish this wasn’t handled in such a public manner for the sake of the victims. As for Jim Bob, at some point we have to be OK with holding him accountable for minimizing his son’s actions. Not because he needs to appease the public, but because his daughters who were victimized and the other victims deserve to have their experience validated and not characterized as a bad mistake.
Nikki @ MBAsahm says
Great article Yanique. Sadly, I was such a huge fan of the show and really thought they were a happy, wholesome family. You are so right that they are trivializing the matter and that is really, really depressing. The whole situation makes me feel sick. Thanks for writing about this 🙁 Horrible.
Tirralan - Tinseltown Mom says
Very interesting post Yanique. I enjoyed reading it. The bottom line for me is that God is the one who will judge and knows the hearts of man, and praise God he is a forgiving God as well. Hopefully he is really sorry for his actions and prayerfully the victims have healed or are finding healing.
Jessica @ The Pen & the Needle says
At this point, all we can do is hope and pray that the Duggars and other affected families were able to get the help they needed. We will just have to leave it in God’s hands.
Kim says
I actually read up on this prior to your article. What makes it worse for me is the following: Although their names were not released, from what I gather, three of the victims were apparently his sisters and he was caught on numerous occasions as the court documents state “he was found coming out of the girls’ bedroom”,. Not only was there no treatment for Josh, but there was no treatment for his victims either – also children of the parents. So much for handling it “in house”, instead, let’s not handle it at all, in any capacity?
Yanique Chambers says
I can’t imagine how his sisters must feel now that their story is fodder for the media. I can’t imagine what it must feel like for the parents to know their son is a child molester, but at some point they have to wake up and do right by their daughters in this situation