My oldest son is going to middle school next year and quite frankly I don’t know where the time went. As he transitions into this new phase in his life, I can’t help but wonder, have we provided him with a solid enough foundation to lean on as his sphere of influence widens? Does he fully grasp what morals and values are important to our family?
Sure my husband and I have discussed these thing amongst ourselves, but we never explicitly discussed it with our kids. As my son prepares to start middle school, I want him to be clear about our family’s core beliefs and also our goals as a family.
According to Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, when families lack a shared vision “kids can be swept along with the flow of society’s values and trends.” Unfortunately, everything that society values isn’t always in line with what our family believes in. This is why it’s so important that families share with their kids from early on who they are as a family and what they are about.
Covey believes that creating a family mission statement is one way to establish a family’s identity. He defines a family mission statement as “a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about — what it is you really want to do and be — and the principles you choose to govern your family life.” Basically a family mission statement lays out for your family what you want to accomplish together and how you plan on getting it done.
Bottom line, every family should have a family mission statement. Below I’m going to share with you some ideas on how to create one.
1. Schedule a family meeting. Plan a time to explain to your children that your family will be developing a family mission statement. Covey suggests that you make this planning meeting a special occasion for the family. We made creating our mission statement part of our New Year’s Eve celebration.
2. Brainstorm with your family to determine what your family is all about. It’s important that everyone gets to have a say in what your family mission statement will be. Children will be more likely to adhere to your mission statement when they help to create it. The following are some questions you can ask to help figure out your family’s identity.
• What words best describes our family?
• What are our strengths as a family?
• What is our purpose as a family?
• If our home could be filled with one feeling, what would it be?
• What makes you want to come home?
• What embarrasses you about our family?
• What would you like for other people to say about our family?
• What kind of relationships do we want to have with each other?
• How do we want to talk to each other and treat each other?
• As a family, we are at our best when…
• As a family, we are at our worst when…
• Name three things you want our family to value.
• How are we unique as a family?
• What are some of our family’s core values and beliefs? (i.e. honesty, loyalty, kindness, acceptance).
• What do you want our family to accomplish in the next 10 years?
Try not to get too hung up on getting the ‘right’ answers to these questions. Focus more on the process of discussing your family’s vision and goals. This is a great opportunity to bond with your family as you listen to each other discuss what’s important to each of you.
3. Narrow down your list. Once you have answered the above questions, you will no doubt have a large amount of information that could be included in your mission statement. However, since you want your mission statement to be brief, everything can’t be included. Review the answers given by family members and then work with them to determine the top ten priorities for your family. We did this by taking a family vote.
4. Write your family mission statement. After you and your family decide what priorities and goals are most important to your family, it’s time to use this information to draft your family’s mission statement. Keep your statement short because you want it to be easily remembered. A rule of thumb is to keep your mission statement under 100 words.
There’s no right way to make a family mission statement so you have a lot of leeway in how your finished product looks. For example, you can write it as a paragraph, as a series of bullets, as a song, etc. The key is whatever works for your family. Check out these sample mission statements from other families.
5. Create a visual display of your family mission statement. Once you are satisfied with your family mission statement, frame it and hang it where it will be seen daily. This will ensure that family members have a constant reminder of what your family is all about and what you are seeking to accomplish.
6. Review family mission statement often. If you want your kids to internalize your family’s mission statement, then you will need to review it with them often. Try and find ways to refer back to your mission statement through-out the day. For example, when my kids do something wrong I ask them if their behavior is in line with our mission as a family. This usually opens up the door to discuss their behavior and they get a clear explanation of why their behavior is problematic and what they need to do to fix it.
I hope you find this information helpful as you set out to create your family mission statement. Don’t forget to check out 20 Family Reflection Questions To Discuss With Your Family in the New Year!
Ana De- Jesus says
Great idea! I have never thought about making a mission statement before but I think it is a brilliant concept.
Logan Can says
I absolutely love this whole idea of creating a family mission statement! I am going to do this with my husband tonight! It’s a great way to remain true to yourselves as a family unit.
Debra says
I love this! We had one growing up and it was wonderful. I need to have one for my own family!
Molly says
What a great concept! My sorority does something similar to this at college, but I absolutely adore this idea for a family and can really see this making a difference.
laura londergan says
Well isn’t this interesting as I have never heard of doing this for the family but I lOVE the idea! Heck yeah – why not!
jill conyers says
Great idea to expand having mission statements for the family and not just individual. I wonder what my kid would think about this 🙂
Allie says
I’ve never thought of creating a mission statement for our family. Such a great way to really define what we’re all about.
tp keane says
My family seems an unorgainsed mess in comparison ha. This is a great idea, thanks for sharing.
Yanique Chambers says
Lol! Don’t be fooled…it’s a mess at times over here too!
Erin says
I love the idea of a family mission statement! Im going to chat with my family about this tonight!
Michelle @ Sunshine and Hurricanes.com says
We don’t have a formal mission statement but we have what we refer to as our family absolutes. These are phrases we use over and over as part of our family identity and they refer back to our core values.
MyTeenGuide says
Creating a family mission statement sounds like an awesome idea. I’d like to discuss this with my family.
Deb- It's me, debcb! says
This is a great idea. Especially if you have older kids that buy in.
Yanique Chambers says
Thanks for mentioning that Deb. It’s much easier trying to implement a family mission statement when children are young. It really becomes a hard sell as they get older.
Jen K says
I think this is a great idea. I have been trying to find a time when my husband and I can sit down and hammer out this year’s plan.
Tiaras and Tantrums says
I don’t think we have ever thought of this – having a mission statement. I think we just try to raise our kids in the Christian path with good morals and hope they make the best decisions.
Eileen says
This is a wonderful idea. My family ranges from middle school to adults , they just still live in our family home. It would be wonderful to put some of these into effect and have more quality time as we are all in so many different directions. I would love a family meeting to discuss these ideas
Yanique Chambers says
One of the reasons it was so important for me to do this is because as a family we were all being pulled in different directions and barely had time to eat dinner together much less have a family meeting
Toni Williams says
This is a great idea because every time we have a family meeting, the kids think I’m going to increase their chores or fuss about something. I want them to know that meetings help the family improve as a unit. I will try this soon!
Yanique Chambers says
Ha! It’s funny how even kids dread the word ‘meeting’
Heather says
We came up with a family mission statement a couple years ago, of course I want to go through and do it again now that two of my kids are older and could have some input into it. I love it though!
Allison (funfamily.vacations) says
This is an awesome idea! A great family bonding project. We are going to do this at our house. Thanks for sharing.
Sara @ Shabby Grace Blog says
This is a great idea! A nice way to the start the new year too with your family. I like how he breaks it down on HOW TO build a mission statement with your family. So helpful.
Kim says
This is great information and so helpful! And it seems like the perfect time of year to create a family mission statement, as well. I am pinning this so we can work on it this weekend. Thanks so much!
Yanique Chambers says
Thanks kim!
Gunjan says
Awesome concept. Thanks for sharing this. I love the idea of Family Mission Statement.
laci says
I love this idea how neat !! Laci
Puneeta says
Love the idea of sitting down as a family and talking this through. Thanks for sharing this with us, Yanique!
Yanique Chambers says
Thanks Puneeta!
Crystal says
While we don’t have a family mission statement and no plans to make one, cause teenagers and eye-rolls, we do discuss our values and beliefs and how they are often counter-cultural very often. We discuss our Christian faith and a lot about politics and economics and I think it will make my kids much more ready for the world than many are.
Yanique Chambers says
Completely agree! Family Mission Statements aren’t for everyone and trying to do them with kids as teenagers will be a hard sell. The key is to some how find a way to communicate clearly with your kids what your family’s morals and beliefs are. There is no one right way to do that. Crystal it seems like you have found what works for your family and I encourage other parents to do the same!
Leslie says
We actually did this once upon a time, but I can’t remember what process we used. We also used to have family meetings, which our kids hated. I think we didn’t start with those young enough! As Crystal says above, though, we do discuss everything so it’s very clear to our kids what our family beliefs are. That’s not to say that now that three of them are actual adults that they still adhere to all of them but all you can do is lay a foundation..
Yanique Chambers says
There really is no trick or science to it. Laying that foundation is key. It’s much easier to implement things like family meetings and mission statements when kids are younger. There is a lot more buy in from them then for sure!
Elizabeth says
This is great! Thank you so much! We are talking Family Mission Statements in our mom group tomorrow and I found this just in time. Very helpful!