Sometimes I Feel Like Louboutins Trapped In A Pair of Crocs
I had my first child when I was 24 and I have lost myself ever since. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but after years of explosive diapers and toddler meltdowns, I can’t help but wonder, is there life out there? I mean I’m quoting Reba McIntyre songs for God’s sake! There must be more to living that folding laundry and loading the dish washer day after day after day. In my perfect world, here are a few things I would be doing with myself.
Going out with my girlfriends Sex in the City style. The girls and I would be frequenting trendy night clubs dressed in the latest designer dresses and red bottom pumps. We would gossip about our exciting lives and take selfies all night. However, since I can barely stay awake past eighth o’clock, girl’s night out for me entails a trip to Ruby Tuesdays in my stretchy jeans, a cardigan and mom flats. All we talk about are our kids and the many reasons we are upset with our husbands.
Vacationing on a tropical island with my husband. We would spend a week on the beach, me sporting a bikini to show off my cellulite free body. That dream will have to wait because for now, a vacation is spending the week at my mother-in-laws house and planning day trips to the zoo and the museum. As for cellulite free, a girl can dream! They match perfect with my roadmap like stretch marks which after three kids are a badge of honor.
Having scintillating conversations at the water cooler. Since I’m a stay at home mom, I miss out on workplace camaraderie. It would be nice to have a conversation about what the heck is going on in the Oval office, the Oval office on Scandal that is. Jake is cute, but I’m team Fitz all the way. I mean Fifty Shades of Grey has nothing on those steamy love scenes between Fitz and Olivia. This is not the kind of conversation I can have with my children. Sure I could tweet about it, but who has time to watch live TV and tweet!
Hosting lavish dinner parties. Alright I confess. I am one of the many viewers keeping the Real Housewives franchise on TV. I need something to keep me entertained while I fold laundry! Anyway, on all the housewives shows, they have these grand dinner parties that have five course meals prepared by top chefs, beautiful dinner ware, and of course everyone is dressed to the nines. Give me a reason to dress up and I’m there.
The closest I get to a dinner party is summer time barbeques with family and friends. Yes the food is delicious and the company is usually good. But at these gatherings I’m following my children around making sure they don’t binge on soda and juice. The dress code for these get- togethers are yoga pants and mumu dresses. There’s nothing lavish about this affair. However, give Aunt Sally an extra glass of wine and there might be some high drama!
I would be a stay at home mom with a nanny. C’mon, I can’t be the only one that has this dream. I love being with my children, but sometimes it would be nice to be with me. You know, so I can think, shower, and comb my hair. Most days I walk around looking like cousin It. I pity the fool who stops by unannounced. I would love to get dolled up and wow my husband when he walks through the door. However, that’s not in the cards right now. Until then, I will shelve the Louboutins (that I don’t own) and get comfy in my crocs. They are more suitable for chasing children anyway.
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