50 Shades of Mommy


Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and I can hear the collective sighs of men all over who have yet to figure out the perfect gift for their significant other. I personally don’t get into the hype of Valentine’s Day. I’ll pass on the gigantic box of chocolate. It’s already a struggle trying to eat healthy. The last thing I need is a huge box of chocolate laying around the house. I’m not into the over-priced bouquet of roses either. I would much rather put that money toward another session of soccer for the kids. Trust me…getting them out the house does wonders for my sanity.

So what would make me happy this Valentine’s Day? Well, I have this fantasy and it goes something like this. (No worries it is all G rated!)

My husband comes home after a half a day at work with the sole purpose of catering to me. His work phone is off and the computer is locked away. He’s not playing Clash of Clans or Ruzzle on his personal phone and he is 100 percent attentive.

The first thing he does is tantalize my taste buds by preparing a mouth-watering dinner all by himself. He won’t even ask me what to make. He will just have his way and cook whatever he pleases. He will be mindful and clean up all splatters on the stove and counter tops.

I imagine he sets the mood by dimming the lights and playing all my favorite Beyonce songs while we gaze into each others eyes. As we eat he showers me with compliments about what a wonderful mother and wife I am and how his life would be in shambles without me (OK maybe not shambles, but not nearly as good as it is with me in it).

After dinner he loads the dishwasher AND runs it. Then he blows my mind and puts  the dishes away.

Next he takes control and manages all the bickering between the kids while I catch up on episodes of The Real Housewives and Dr.Phil. No one will come running to me to complain about who took what or who looked at who. I won’t have to referee any near brawls between the boys or pacify the princess who is in a rage because her brother removed the heads off her Barbies. All I have to do is revel in the bliss of me time.

With the kids under control, the hubby blows my mind by cleaning up the living room and putting all the toys in their respective bins. As if that weren’t enough, he sends me over the edge by picking up his socks off the living room couch and placing them in his hamper. He gets even more hands on and does his own laundry. Then he surprises me by doing the unthinkable. He does the children’s laundry too! But he doesn’t stop there. Just when I think I can’t take anymore, he folds all the laundry straight from the dryer and immediately puts them away!

My head is spinning and I’m floating on cloud nine. Then he turns to me and says, “That’s not all honey.” I’m not sure I can take anymore. He leads me to the bathroom where he has a bath running. He even took the time to fill the tub with bubbles and rose petals.

As I lay in the bath he pours me a glass of wine and tells me he is taking all three kids out for a few hours. I can’t believe my ears. You mean I get to be home… ALONE? No way!
The minute the door clicks and I am sure they are gone, I get comfortable and begin reading 50 Shades of Grey completely uninterrupted.

Seriously, I don’t want chocolate or flowers for Valentine’s Day. I’m fine just getting some quality time to myself. Now if the hubby chooses to indulge me with jewelry, I will not deny him that whatsoever!

Love hard and love always. Happy Valentine’s Day to all!


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